Children

Realizing I was more than ready for church an hour before it start I decided to download the last conference talks on to my cell. Scrolling down the titles of each talk. I decided to read a talk I had missed by Neil L. Andersen called "CHILDREN". Naturallly being a mother this drew me in.

During his talk Brother Andersen shared a Christen womens blog entry. Although not of the LDS faith I felt strongly this was speaking to me and many other mothers. In this blog she states " "Children rank below college. Below world travel. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honoring your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for" Looking around at the fathers and mothers at Trace's preschool I realized how young of a parent I really am. Being a young mother there are times I wish I had delayed having kids and finished college and build a career for myself. I always felt like I didn't accomplish what my brothers and sister have. But Brother Andersen stressing this made me feel relief that I am doing the right thing by having my kids so early in life. Because I am so young there is plenty of time for me to get my education. And so many tools for mothers to finish school. Thanks to night school and when used for the right reasons the internet.

Further in the talk I become every appreciative of my husband who is a great father Brother Andersen say "To a righteous father, there are no words sufficient to express the gratitude and love he feels for his wife's incalculable gift of bearing and caring for children". I remember Tim saying (with our first) thanks for giving me a son. And although I know he would have been happy with either gender it was so wonderful to hear that he was thankful for me. This thought and memory also confirmed to me once again I was doing the right thing and I had wonderful support in Tim.

"It is a crowing privilege of a husband and wife who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for these spirit children of God." -Neil L. Andersen. It truly is a privilege for me to be able to bare children (no matter how hard pregnancy is and trust me this one has not been easy) and it is also a privilege to be a mother to my two sons who always keep me smiling. I would be lost without them. And truly would not trade them for anything in the world and do not regret having them so soon in life.

"Whosoever shall receive on of such children in my name, receiveth me and whosoever shall receive me , receiveth him that sent me"-Brother Andersen quoting the Savor.

I know many women who long so hard to have children. Either unmarried or just can conceive. I hope that this talk has helped them realize the promises the Lord has made to them. "Faithful members whose circumstances do not allow them to receive the blessings of eternal marriage and parenthood in this life will receive all promised blessings in the eternities (as) they keep the covenants the have made with God" I truly wish for these women that life wasn't so unfair. There are mothers who don't even want there children when others who desperately want them are unable. I am so happy for those who are able to adopt these children. And am so grateful for loved ones I have seen go throughout this life some passing who have not had an eternal companion. That if they keep the commandments they will be able to recieve all promised blessings. I believe this would be a companion and children. This too gave me comfort and hope for those who haven't been able have the experiences I have had.

I am so grateful to my little growing family. I am so thankful to the Lord giving me such a gift. And having a husband who is also grateful for each little person in our lives and grateful for me. The women in the blog was right this is what God gave me time for no regrets!!

Family Update Oct 5 2011

I must me on a blog kick since this will be my 3rd entry in the last two weeks. Normal you 'd see nothing from me for weeks and even months at a time. Yet I feel that since I have just written about pregnancy things lately a family update was needed.

We will start with our papa bear TIM
This week he is crazy busy with Finals. So far he has past each one. He his last one is today. I am fully confident in him that he will pass this one with flying colors. He is every knowledgeable in his field. I have been very impressed with him. I keep telling him he is getting smarter with age. Anyway he has one last class on Thursday and after that HE IS DONE at least for a few months he wants to go back to school soon. But a break is going to be nice for the up coming events in our lives. (see more details later in blog post). Tim will be higher-able after he takes his state boards which he will be setting up as soon as possible. He already has a great clientele build up. Most have a lot of business contacts. We are confident that he will do well once this is all over. Also new since I wrote last Tim turned 26. He is still a member of the Utah Air National Guard. And is working really hard to provide for his family. Lately his job seemed to be more stressful. I am sure the stress will ease up once school is over at least a little. (In case you are wondering Tim plans on keeping his full time job and doing massage on the side.)


Mama Bear me TESHA
I am currantly 16-17 weeks pregnant depending on the due date you are going by. I really have to start facing the facts that just because my orginal due date was the 14th of March doesn't mean anything. The ultra sound messaurd baby to be due on the 20th. This is probably the due date I should start going by. I am really hoping the 20wk ultrasound puts it ahead again. But we will see. Speaking of my 20wk ultrasound I will be having it Nov. 2nd and yes we will be finding out the gender. Predictions are needed, What do you think we are having??
I am the biggest WIMP this pregnancy. I don't remember feeling so sore so soon in pregnancy with my boys. But I have put into account that I am consistently chancing after my crazy boys especially my wild Trezy and having the lingering cough from a cold doesn't help either. I still get morning sickness here and there. I don't think I will feel good this whole pregnancy but I am hoping I can enjoy this 2nd tri a little more. The best thing I have loved so far is I haven't gained a pound after loosing in the first tri. I wonder if I keep getting thinner everywhere else but my belly as it seems to be getting bigger by the minute. It is so nice being all baby. It really helps to have the baby and be skinner than what I started but it really sucks loosing the way I have. Being sick SUCKS!!!


Little Bear TRACE
I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of this little kid. He has learned more in the first few weeks of school then he did the whole year last year. I really believe he has better teachers this year. They are informative and let me know the progress he is making. Just a few days ago he brought home his certificate for basic shapes. He and I went over these a lot. We found fun ways of calling them out when we where driving. Tim also taught him octagon which he has picked up as well. He is doing really well with his colors and almost has counting to 14 down. Just a little more practice on that one. He is also learning to reconize the abcs more. Sure he knows the song but I am not sure he can say yes that is the letter w and not m. But I am confident like most things he has picked up he will with this as well. The most important part is how much he loves school and loves learning. I hope that this will be something he will take with him for the rest of his school career.


Little Brother Bear Trezdon
We just celibrated Trezys 3rd birthday at the end of September. He was so lucky to have so many family members and friends who love him. This year we celibrated at the Library park in sf. With two different soups, cake and home made ice cream. After dinner the kids enjoyed a pinta. He was so excited for his pinta. For days before he wanted to break it open. He got a lot of fun toys and clothes all of which he loves. It must have been really fun because the next day he wanted to repeat his birthday and every time we go to the park. He says "that is where we sang Happy Birthday to me!"
Trezy has been potty trained for a few weeks now. I am so glad that I don't have to change dirty diapers for a while. Minus a few accidents he has had lately (pooping). He did so well for so long then the last few days he hasn't done as well. When he was potty training we bought him a new pair of boots that he could only wear after he was trained. I keep telling him any more accidents I would take them back. I don't think he likes the idea so hopefully he will do better.

ABBY
This last month we had to say good bye to our dog Abby. She was only 6yrs. One day she was just acting funny when I went to see her at my parents house (landlords wouldn't allow pets) I wondered if she got knocked up. But she didn't want anything to do with me or even play sticks with the kids. I noticed she was walking funny and thought maybe I should take her to the vet not knowing the seriousness of her condition. Plus by this time it was late at night. The next day my dad called and said she was in the ditch and wouldn't come out. So I called the vet got her an appointment. My dad had to come home from work to help me get her out of the ditch. She was in a lot of pain when we tried touching her she would freak out. I noticed she couldn't move her back legs and was really starting to smell. There was no way I could handle having her in my car with my weak prego stomic. So we called the vet who came over. It turns out she had broke her back and was paralized in her legs. :( I wish I were rich but I couldn't afford the $5,000 back surgery and $300-$400 a day hospitalization. So the vet put her under. I petted and held her head as he shaved her and gave her a shot. I was so shocked at how fast she went. I miss her so much. The kids did pretty well with the news. They say poor Abby all the time but also say its okay we can just get a new dog. (the littlest says that) I think having fish die has helped that. Plus since she didn't live with us they weren't as attached as I was.

BIG NEWS FOR MY FAMILY.....
This is much needed with the sad summer we have had. We have been working really hard to get our credit where it needs to be to buy a house. We highered credit repair specailiest, Tim made us put aside part our tax return for some bills and I have paid everything early. With months of hard work we are finally able to buy a house!!! Hunting begins next week. Although I have looked online of months lol. This is the prefect time for us to buy something when it is so low. Other wise I don't think a house would be an option for us unless I went back to school and made as much as Tim does. And although I want to go back to school and work. I don't want to while I am prego. and I want to buy a house and be in it before baby comes and we finally can!! YEY!!!!

Well there is our family update for Oct 5th. I hope to write more often. So these aren't as long. :) But we will see.

Crazy Dreams prego dreams

I was 5 months pregnant just before I found out what I was having when I went into Labor. Fear struck my body and tears ran down my check but there was no stopping this little one from coming. With a blink of an eye my baby girl had made her way into the world. Shock poured throughout the room full of nurses drs and family members as they handed me a perfectly healthy 7lb baby. How could this be we all questioned. The dr reaction was I must have been pregnant for months. This didn't make any sense since I had regular month visits from mother nature and my first ultrasound actually sat my due date back by 5 days. Then I woke to find my little growing belly and only two kids in the world. (prego dream during this pregnancy)

Another side effect of pregnancy are crazy dreams. Most don't even make since. Some are about your unborn baby others are completely unrelated. Some women will dream of the sex of their baby or the birth and have it be crystal clear and know that this is how it will be for them. Some have dreams about sex, cheating spouses, exes. Others have odd dreams, even nightmares. The dreams that we have in pregnancy are tainted with the worries and joys of pregnancy and the changing roles of our lives. Hormones don't always help either! I believe the above dream was my fear of having a prime or a miscarriage since I had this dream when the Dr. discovered I was bleeding a little. Yet having a full term baby was away of telling me that things are going to be okay. At least that is my interruption of it.

The oddest dream I had was when I was pregnant with my first (Trace).
My mom dad, myself, Tim and a couple of friends where walking through these tall wood doors (you know like the ones in Jurassic park when you first enter the tour). While Tim lagged behind the rest of us where about to reach the other side of the door when we heard a loud noise looked up and saw a little monkey. His appearance of lovable squeezable monkey was just an act. He screeched out with a howl. Raised his arms and started throwing something. Everyone seemed to vanished leaving my by myself. I was talking all the heat of this little monkey. The smell was nauseating yes you guessed it this monkey was a dung throwing monkey. I was plastered when Tim finally reached the other side of the doors. I tried to warn him but he walked through it anyway. I stood waiting and nothing happened. The monkey just smiled at him and stopped throwing dung.

This dream seemed to have very little meaning at the time. However I had read that most of the time pregnant women dreamed their babies where animals most of the time when they were having little boys which what I was pregnant with at the time. It wasn't until later, after he was born the the dream actually came to be. Here I had a lovable squeezable baby boy. This too was an act. For every time I changed this little ones diaper without a fail he would poop one me. I am not talking about me holding him on my lap and he just happened to poop. He would actually have a cannon like butt and shoot it at me. I remember one time clearly I was on my bed changing him (in the middle) I heard a fart and knew what was going to happen. I tried dogging it laying back as far as I could my head now on the head board and it still got me and the head board (true story). What makes this dream even more true is the fact Trace never once pooped on Tim.

Then I have had dreams of falling off a cliff. Most can intrupet that as loosing contol. Which seems about right because being sick I have lost control of my house. And I believe the idea of having 3 kids is scary.

I of course was courious about pregnancy dreams so I hit the internet. It had some pretty helpful tips. It suggest that when you wake up and can you clearly recall what your dream was about you should try to find out the emotion that you were experiencing. Were you happy? Sad? Afraid? Then is suggest grabbing a pen and a piece of paper and write down what you remember from the dream and how you felt. Is there a reason that you might be feeling scared, upset or dissapointed? Listen to what your dreams are telling you and see if they relate to your real-life feelings, worries or concerns. I think this is something I will do the next time I dream something. I have had so many this pregnancy but most I forget.

My advice it is important not to let dreams get to you. You will only put stress on yourself. We all know that during pregnancy it is best just to relax. Try talking to someone about your dreams if you can't seem to shake you this often helps. If it is an emotion that the dream is attached to or a worry talking is probably the best thing. Also learn to laugh about the crazy dreams. A dung throwing monkey can be pretty funny especially in years to come. Thank you pregnancy hormones for keeping me entertained.