So lately I having been feeling very prego. I have had back aches , headaches, cramps , breast tenderness , extra cm and of course I felt sick. But I took a test today (I think I should have my period Friday or Sat.) and it was negative. That means I am off the hook right? Tim thinks I just took it to early. I don’t. The funny thing is I was sure that I was. I really didn’t want to be but part of me was growing with the idea so I pulled out all the things I have saved for a little girl out just to look. Looked at car seats and diaper bags lol. I got carried away. Last night I was getting nervous that I could actually be prego and it was freaking me out. I don’t know how I would do it I thought to myself. But I kept having dreams that the test would be positive and how excited Tim and I were. I really woke up at 3 thinking it was later in the day last night so I could test. First I woke at 3the at 5 and finally took it at 7 but every time in between the same dream came back another thing that made me think it must me so. I was actually shocked that I was a little disappointed that I wasn’t having another.
So now I am not sure how to feel. I think it’s more of a bitter sweet thing. I would have welcomed and loved another child but I want to do a few things before I have another baby. Nothing that I can’t do in a few short months. So I am going to start studying up again on ways to have a girl. And possibly toy with the idea of trying to conceive in June July or Aug that way I have a Spring baby. I am leaning more June and July because I could probably have the baby before allergies season is in full force. (It’s so odd but I might change my mind and wait another year like I have been planning since I had Trezdon.)
So my sister in law read a book to help her conceive a little boy which she will be having in just a few short weeks. So I have read it twice and I am going to read it again and start doing the things in there that I need to do before I even start trying. Then I am also going to go on the same diet my mom went on to conceive me after she had three boys. I always joke that I am the experiment baby. Lol really that is what I am.
Don’t worry if I end up conceiving a boy I will be happy. I wouldn’t trade my two boys for anything in the world. I love them so much. I think anyone who is trying to have a baby should keep that in mind that things can go either way .
Anyway I am sure I will write a blog if I actually do start trying right now it’s just a thought. As for all the pains I was getting and still getting maybe it was just a long drawn out thing of PMS. I guess you can always get a false neg. but I doubt that this is the case. I guess I will know for sureFriday or Sat.
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